Monday, January 17, 2011

The end of this road

How does it feel, when you are just a 3 year old kid and your mother tells you that you are going to a school today? I have no recollection of that feeling. But it must have been one shaky experience! Leaving the comfort of the familiar smells and sounds of your home and getting used to the sound of scribblings on paper. Those wooden desks must have felt so untrustworthy compared to even the floor of your house. As we grow, adapt, these things stop bothering us. The happenings of the world outside your home seem so flashy in contrast to the usual peaceful slumber of home!
And now, after almost 2 decades of my life. After 20 years of new worlds being formed each day, I realize that a different world is opening up. It feels like I'm on a run trying to establish an identity. Why is it so difficult to find what you love? Why can't someone figure out what they can do for the rest of their lives without any regret?

Sometimes it feels as if I'm standing in front of a maze and the future lies far ahead lost among the towering walls. This feeling is not really acceptable. Feels chilly. Colder than the Delhi winter! I'm usually carefree about these things. I don't let them nag me. But...some feelings just crash upon you and there's nothing you can do about it. A huge change is coming. A new beginning. I feel a bit skeptic. I think this is what I must have felt going to the school for the first time. My mother represented certainty  and I had to leave her to be engulfed by another world. This time it's the same. I am at the end of this road. The next one is not yet paved so I'm searching for some raw material of the best quality; I have to make sure it's strong!

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Note:  I'm on the verge of becoming a graduate. This post signifies my feelings about the time which is yet to come!


6 comments:

mahi said...

nice yaaa...........its really wat m also feeling...or its wat we all 2 be graduates widin 4-5 months r feeling....
thanks 4 giving our feelings these words... :)

THE DELUSIONAL REALITY said...

@mahi: welcum mahi :) I wish all of the "to be graduates" find their way!

divsi said...

oh my...i feel a sense of deja vu:)
there are so many such times wen life suddenly leaps to a stage where theres a cul de sac:) n hope brightens yr path:) it ll clear yr doubts n things will fit into a perfect jigsaw:)
feels great to be bak to yr blog:)
love that lil chick on the left;p

THE DELUSIONAL REALITY said...

@divsi: I hope i find the pieces soon :)... thanx for your comment!
take care

akanksha said...

my god...!! i just posted my poem..and saw ur blog...everyone of us is thinking in the same way..!! nice one..hope u find ur way, all d bst!

THE DELUSIONAL REALITY said...

@akanksha: i noe buddy...everybody is going thru the same trauma :P
thnx n all d best to u! :)