The curse of ambiguity

A fountain of unexpressed love

Bathing the melancholy heart

The leaves fall off the trees

Taking down the desires to ground

A walk in the beautiful meadow

The escapes to the neverland

If night doesn’t bring the stars

Will the wait be worth anything?

Or perhaps the morning sun

is a better chariot to saneness

The right to forget is weakly denied

like memories written in sand

The seagulls call to the forlorn lover

bringing the word of the distanced

Pity is not what they deserve

but chances to be brought together

Engraved in mind are those words

whispered while holding hands

The tale not always ends happily ever after

Undesirable questions creep into life

A part of you is always left behind

Pondering upon the other road

And the roar in the back of your mind

Was your love so scant?

The Darkest Night

Sometimes in tranquility,
I try to find myself
But then noise is pondered upon.
For silence perished many,
Their thoughts were always bound.
Revive the desires of heart
'cause voice is the only buoy.

Possibilities!!!

Defeats aren't always visible

They travel through blood and heart...

A wish of indifference

The need of light and calm...

The chained wings of possibilities

holding back from the start...

How do we let go of things

that aren't ours?

Held onto them for so long

leaving would leave a scar...

The burden that heart bears

unshared, rising above par...

Broken window isn't a way out

when doors can be found...

It's a thirst for ambition

amidst fears and scowls...

These fingers will turn iron into gold

the winners needn't be loud!

ANGUISH!!!

Standing in the dark

Calling your number

Waiting to see you

Amidst all the thunder

But there is no lightning

If you stole it, I wonder

You said I’ll be safe

Till the time we are together

These memories

I didn’t ask them to crash on me

Those wonderful hours

I never thought would come to haunt me

And now I am going back

To the time you saved me from

Behind each tear

Lives a sad story

I can’t hear your voice

When it gets so scary

You broke all your promises

And I’m living barely

Trying to leave you behind

I’ll forget you, yes maybe

these memories

I didn’t ask them to crash on me

Those wonderful hours

I never thought would cum to haunt me

And now I am going back

To the time you saved me from

Since you are gone forever

I’m leaving home

And I’m going back

To the time you saved me from.

Ecdysis

Lines are breached…Apathy is the new religion…Death of hope…
It’s our own doing! Yet, after learning millions of lessons, we don’t back out. Perhaps, we are too complacent. Giving up a life of tyranny on our inner voice just doesn’t seem as the right thing to be done. We are so in-sync with the self-demolition brigade because we think that our achievements are really flattering even though they spell doom! Innovation, development, a raised standard of life. At what cost are we availing these? Have you ever pondered, how ironical it seems that somewhere some people talk about restoring harmony in the world and at that very instant, plots of killings are being hatched?

Where did we, the supreme beings of this planet, go wrong? Was it too much exploitation of our sanity or frequent attacks on humanity? Well, these questions holds no importance now. All that matters is the fact that our world is crumbling. Going to pieces with every passing moment. So what do we do about that? How do we achieve atonement? How do we bring back into the picture- the unwavering faith, the holy love?
Our best shot is to change. To paint ourselves with colours of trust, love and peace. With realization comes a serenity which drives the will to corner our shortcomings and sabotage our misgivings! We have to shed the devilry. We have to use our best resources for sustaining the future. It’s time.
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Note: Ecdysis means shedding of old skin. This piece of writing was inspired by the recent suicide blast in Moscow and various terrorist activities in the past. It represents the anguish of an ordinary person, who is affected by terrorism, corruption, poverty and helplessness burning the people of our world!

The end of this road

How does it feel, when you are just a 3 year old kid and your mother tells you that you are going to a school today? I have no recollection of that feeling. But it must have been one shaky experience! Leaving the comfort of the familiar smells and sounds of your home and getting used to the sound of scribblings on paper. Those wooden desks must have felt so untrustworthy compared to even the floor of your house. As we grow, adapt, these things stop bothering us. The happenings of the world outside your home seem so flashy in contrast to the usual peaceful slumber of home!
And now, after almost 2 decades of my life. After 20 years of new worlds being formed each day, I realize that a different world is opening up. It feels like I'm on a run trying to establish an identity. Why is it so difficult to find what you love? Why can't someone figure out what they can do for the rest of their lives without any regret?

Sometimes it feels as if I'm standing in front of a maze and the future lies far ahead lost among the towering walls. This feeling is not really acceptable. Feels chilly. Colder than the Delhi winter! I'm usually carefree about these things. I don't let them nag me. But...some feelings just crash upon you and there's nothing you can do about it. A huge change is coming. A new beginning. I feel a bit skeptic. I think this is what I must have felt going to the school for the first time. My mother represented certainty  and I had to leave her to be engulfed by another world. This time it's the same. I am at the end of this road. The next one is not yet paved so I'm searching for some raw material of the best quality; I have to make sure it's strong!

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Note:  I'm on the verge of becoming a graduate. This post signifies my feelings about the time which is yet to come!

2010: cakes, shopping, n awesomeness!

Another year has come to a close, so I thought remembering the best moments of this year would be a good way to bid adieu to it!
Let’s start with the cold month of JANUARY which is the month of Janus, roman god of doorways; very apt for the month which is a door to a new year! Since I am pursuing my bachelor’s degree, my January has been plagued by examinations for the past two years. so, January 2010 began on a bit boring note. It was basically the month of my affair with my 1000-something page books! By the way, I forgot to tell you my resolution for 2010; it was to study by gaining knowledge and not just mug everything up…sigh..another broken promise!

and yeah, my first short story got published as the best entry in science reporter magazine!!!!!!!!!
                       
Okay..so moving on to the next month~ FEBRUARY! basically my favourite month because of these reasons:
1. this is my birth month.
2. the spring is about to arrive!
3. the month of love as we celebrate valentine’s day!
4. there is lot of junk food to gorge on courtesy my parent’s anniversary, my birthday, my friends’ birthday..so lot’s of parties!
Well, February is always a month I really look forward to. It usually begins with anticipation of getting a brilliant gift for my birthday. This year was a bit different! i did not ask for any birthday gift from mom and dad(i thought i might give their bills a stop especially after they got a really good phone on my birthday in 2009). But celebrations were as good as any year; celebrated with college friends and family. And Tanvi’s birthday was equally good. But valentine’s day was a a total bummer. Well, they celebrate the day with real fervour in my college but the day turned out to be a Sunday and I had to miss the celebrations! :P
                                       

March~ the month which made me realize that I had been sleeping the entire year and there was a lot to be done for the upcoming examinations! The only good thing worth remembering was the farewell party for our seniors!
  
April and May~ majority of these two months were clouded by imsomnia, anxiety, tension etc. for everyone. Ahem ahem, excluding me! when everyone was memorizing heaps of notes, I was not ready to compromise on my beauty sleep!
                     
After the exams fever ended, I wasted my entire may on couch with a bag of potato chips and piles of dvds!
JUNE~ another “on the couch”  month! The end of the month saw me leaving my beloved couch and facebook behind to have fun with my school friends on vagesha’s birthday! Apart from that the entire month was quite uneventful!
   
JULY~ the 3rd year of college started on 21st July instead of the usual date: 16th July. Since it was the final year i was really geared up to give my best and be regular in all the subjects. That enthusiasm lasted only for a week ;) and I ditched seriousness again with the upcoming birthday of my dear friend Kusum!
    
AUGUST, SEPTEMBER~ welcomed our juniors, worked hard for the national symposium that our department held! and yeah ‘BLOOD’y practicals( blood was the word of the month, with all our practicals requiring it!).
    
OCTOBER~ was simply awesome! spent the first week on holiday in Dalhousie with my family and bought a new laptop on 10.10.10!!! the month went brimming with usual fun in the college :)
  
NOVEMBER~ this one got “the brilliant month” award! Shopping was in the air ;) as my cousin brother was getting married! The wedding was the most remembered affair of the month. After that i had to get out of the LA-LA-LAND and return back to the usual hustle-bustle of college. the presentation which got me a full score ended the month on a good note!
   
DECEMBER~ better transformed to best! Got into the party mood again with monika’s birthday and then celebrated the merriest christmas ever!
           
I am really glad that the end of the year was much better than it’s beginning. So, thanks to all the people who made it fun!
so,
A happy 2011 to all of you!  =D take care!

HOLDING ON

The last days

the days of reckless fun

Faces will change

Bringing in a different sun

Leave behind everything

It's time to meet the mayhem

The warm home is lost

But I'm still holding on

Words become meaningless

But I'm still holding on

Love will always be alive

that's why I'm holding on

                  

What we've lost

has all turned to dust

The laughter's gone

It's the light we hunt

Fragrance-less flowers

The wars we deserve

Peace is caged

But I'm still holding on

Humanity is going to pieces

but I'm still holding on

Love will always be alive

that's why I'm holding on

If we all harbour hope

and wait for sunshine

Love will always be alive

because we'll all be holding on

Note: Wrote this poem in Mrs. Prasad's class today while she was dictating notes (wasn't in the mood to study). I started with a totally different theme. I wanted to write something about our college days coming to an end but the theme diverged and the end result was very different from what I initially had in my mind. :)

DESIRES, IDEAS AND THE FORGOTTEN ONE

Accomplished!
An adjective we all want to be associated with. Everyone wants to do better, climb the success ladder. I have been thinking a lot lately. The question is always the same. How to get everything I want?

So, I made a list. Organization does not come genetically to me. I have learned these skills over a huge span of time. But I should say my mother would be proud. ;)
The list looks something like this.
I would like to:
1.look like Angelina Jolie(guess, i was asking too much) Hillary Duff(that sounds manageable!)
2.own a mansion worth millions of dollars(would have to marry a dumb millionaire).
3.write a book and get it published(if anybody is interested in reading what I write, I promise to give you a room in my million dollar mansion).
4.marry Tom Cruise( I suppose he would divorce Katie Holmes in a few years and join the league of dumb millionaires).
5.make it to the top 100 influential people list on the TIME magazine(would have to borrow some money from dear Tom and bribe the CEO of the TIME magazine).
6.top my 3rd year exams(this one is tough! only possible if the topper of our class breaks his arms).
7.buy a Lamborghini Reventon <3(sighhhh...).


Well, that's a good list. Lot of work is to be done and one day, yes, one day I will have all these things. Oh my god... I just remembered. I forgot the most important thing. The list is totally incomplete without it.
8.to be happy.
We all forget this point, don't we? The other desires are so big that they hide the most important need of our lives. Happiness. In the end, it is that happiness which remains unconsidered; which ultimately punches a hole in your accomplished status! 
So, just take a leaf out of my book or rather blog :) and start moving desire to be happy to the number one spot.